


Snow

by MotherLilith



Series: Being Human Christmas Specials [4]
Category: Being Human (UK)
Genre: Alex Millar POV, Angst and Humor, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, M/M, Melancholy, Mind Meld, Nick Cutler being sarcastic, Snow, Snowball Fight, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherLilith/pseuds/MotherLilith
Summary: The snow reminds Alex of how much she misses her family. Cutler unwillingly participates in a mind-meld and a snowball fight.
Relationships: Nick Cutler/Hal Yorke
Series: Being Human Christmas Specials [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040234
Kudos: 2





	Snow

For once it was cold enough in Barry for it not to rain, but snow. All yesterday there had been a dry, frozen charge in the air that had given the sense of something building, and now the sky had broken open in a flurry of white. Overnight a good amount had settled on the ground, enough for the neighbourhood kids to start building a snowman on the pavement opposite the house. Alex had watched them swiping snow from walls and the tops of cars that lined the street. They’d seemed so happy, running about and rolling balls down the hill to try and get more powder to stick. She’d watched them until their mums had made them come in for their tea.

It would be snowing back home now, she thought. I wonder if they’ve closed the schools. Dad’ll have a fit if he has to take time off work, but Ryan would probably step up to babysit the two younger ones. She hoped he wouldn’t let Deckie and Derry play outside in the snow too long. She swore they’d stay out long enough to get hypothermia if someone wasn’t watching them.

Alex was outside in the garden now and the snow was thick on the ground. She fell down onto it and lay there, moving her arms and legs to make a snow angel. At least she could lie outside for as long as she wanted without freezing to death. She already had that last part covered. Alex thought she could feel the cold. Sort of, when she concentrated. Or perhaps it was just her mind trick playing tricks, her brain (did she even have a brain anymore?) telling her what it thought she _should_ be feeling.

The grey sky opened again, and snowflakes began to fall. As she looked at up, she felt like was in space drifting among the stars. Weightless. Gravity didn’t anchor her anymore and it was as if she was coming loose. She felt a tug from the invisible thread that wound away into the darkness like a ribbon. At the end of it was her blood, her family, carrying on without her. This was the first Christmas she’d ever spent away from them. She wished she could rent-a-ghost that far north, but she got lost every time she crossed the River Severn. It was too many miles, too much distance between her and the house with nothing to keep her together. She was worried that if she got too far away from Tom and Hal she’d drift away like smoke of the breeze.

She closed her eyes and remembered her fingertips red raw in the Scottish winter, even with the thick wool gloves given to her by her nan. Stupid stuff too, like sticking her warm palm against the frosted black grime of the bus stop glass to prove she could keep it there as long as Ryan. She’d held it there so long it had almost stuck. Any longer and she’d have lost her skin. She’d take anything now, even that pain. Any sensation at all, she just wanted to feel _something_.

She got up and looked at the blank white canvas of the garden. Stepping forward, her foot made a satisfying imprint in the snow, like plunging a spoon into a tub of new ice cream. That gave her an idea. Slowly, she reached down and scooped up a handful of powder. It was soft in her hand, but when she looked closely she could see ice crystals glistening like tiny diamonds. Tentatively, she brought the snow to her lips. But it didn't melt because she had no warmth, no life to transform it from ice into water. It just fell unchanged through her to the frozen ground.

She heard the crunch of footsteps behind her and turned to see Cutler standing there holding a steaming mug in one hand.

“Be careful it’s not yellow,” he said with a smirk.

Alex rolled her eyes at his sarcasm.

“Oh haha, very funny.”

He took a sip from the mug. “But seriously, what are you doing? You know you can’t eat, right?”

“And I wonder who’s responsible for that?” she snapped.

Seeing the angry look on her face, he jerked his thumb in the direction of the door.

“I’ll just go back in then, shall I?”

“Yeah, piss off please.”

As he turned to leave, she eyed the cup in his hand.

“Actually, wait. What’s that you’re drinking?”

He shrugged. “Gingerbread Latte. It’s sweet and instant, not proper coffee really.”

“Give me some of that.”

Cutler took a step back as if about to retreat inside the house.

“No, I hate it when you do that. Makes me feel all weird and tingly, like someone’s put my brain in the microwave.”

“Do I really have to guilt trip you?”

Cutler groaned in resignation. “Fine! Just make it quick.”

He closed his eyes as she approached, placing her hands on either side of his head. The touch of her ghostly fingers felt like thin streams of ice permeating his skull. She concentrated until she began to feel the warmth of the drink coming through, and then tasted the sugary sweetness on her borrowed tongue. The flavour made Cutler think of the biscuits Hal had baked a few days ago, and he remembered kissing him with the taste of spices his lips. She caught a glimpse of what had come after but retreated from the memory in embarrassment. Some things were too personal even for her.

She focused on the taste and was back in her own memories again, meeting friends in town for a catch up in Starbucks, then watching her mum make Horlicks in a pan, better that way than lumpy hot water in a mug.

She pulled away. She didn’t want to think about her mum. She didn’t even know if her mum had heard about her death. Perhaps that was her unfinished business. It definitely wasn’t mind-melding with her murderer just to get a taste of his coffee.

Cutler was breathing heavily, and his face had grown pale. Well, paler than usual.

“Was that good for you?”

“Oh shut up. At least you can still eat and drink stuff.”

“Yeah, but there’s only one thing that I really want to eat and I can’t have that. Everything else is just kind of…empty. It doesn’t satisfy you.”

“Like eating snow?”

“Yes, I guess it is.”

“Then why do you do it?”

He shrugged. “Just something to do I suppose. Hal thinks it’s good to do human things.”

“Even if we’re not human?”

“It reminds us to try, at least.”

Not knowing what to say to that, she scooped up a ball of snow from the ground.

“Oy arsehole, think fast!”

She threw it hard and hit him full in the face.

“What was the for?”, he spluttered.

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Fair point.” Cutler looked down. “Oh great, you’ve made me spill my coffee. Right, that does it.”

He picked up a handful of snow and hurled it at her.

Instinctively, she dodged aside. “Ha! You missed.”

She threw herself to the ground to grab a handful in retaliation and hurled it in his direction. He ducked, and it flew through the open door behind him.

“You better clean that up, or Hal will go spare.”

“Hey, it’s your fault for ducking!”

“Oh yeah? He reached down to grab another handful and slipped over.

“Wow, impressive.”

The defeated vampire lay on the ground and scowled up at her. She realised that it was quite literally freezing, and he was only wearing a shirt.

“Don’t you get cold?” she asked.

“I’m always cold,” he sighed. “That’s what it’s like, when you’re dead but you’ve got a body.”

“Except when you’re on the blood.”

“Yeah. Except then.”

“That sucks.”

“Pretty much.”

She looked down at him.

“I miss being cold.”

“Don’t you dare touch my head again! I feel crap enough as it is.”

“Alright, chill out. Ha! Chill out, get it?”

He groaned. “Couldn’t you just have staked me good and proper?”

“Hey, if we’d have done that then I wouldn’t get to torment you for all eternity.”

He got up, rising unsteadily to his feet. “And on that note, I’m going back inside.”

“Ok, whatever.” Alex turned to watch him go. She still hated him, but now that she had to put up with him being around, she was kind of starting to enjoy hating him. Being dead was complicated. She hesitated, not sure if she was going to regret this.

“Thanks for the drink,” she called after him.

“It’s not like you really gave me a choice,” he called back.

“Yeah, but you know. Still.”

She appeared in the kitchen and looked at the puddle of snow melting on the floor. Best get the mop, she reckoned. She couldn’t be asked for a scene later. Hal being all, “You’re just as responsible for maintaining the household as me and Tom”. Yeah, yeah whatever. Alex saw that the snow was falling thicker now and remembered how it felt to come in after being out in the cold. That delicious feeling, like sinking into a warm bath. She could almost feel it as she closed the door behind her, and perhaps that was good enough.


End file.
